The past few days leading up to Sunday were crazy. I guess I really just missed her and needed to meet her badly and I did the unfathomable. I decided to bring cookie out. I knew I missed cookie too but if someone had ever asked if cookie was just an excuse, I would really say I don't know. That's the honest truth. We had long talks on our trip out together and I am pretty glad it wasn't awkward for us. Its just so amazing how much things changes when a couple becomes platonic friends. Where was the love we both shared? Amazing! Nights become exceptionally long when I think of her. It really sucks to know she still means a deal to me. It hurts even more knowing that she has clean forgotten about every single thing about us. No regrets at all? Perhaps I was a plain lousy boyfriend. I just couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Was I even her 1st relationship? It felt more like the other way around. Even after meeting her on Sunday, I couldn't tell if meeting her was the right thing to do. But I know that I was happy to see her then. Everything else didn't matter. Last night, my friends and I went to catchThe Storm Warriors in the evening. I knew I hated the night because it becomes exceptionally long and cold. I started to think of us and I was simply very sad because she could just forget everything and not feel that tinge of sadness. I believe that what I had done for her would suffice for some form of recognition right? In any case, this close friend of mine talked to me on the bus ride home and I finally saw what they meant by saying leading a better life without her. I guess I was just too caught up with so many things or the way they had talked to me about us that I simply did not digest what they had told me the last time around. Today, I will tell myself that I will move on and that what was between us are now just memories I can keep. She will feel the loss and regret one day, and one day she feels that way, I have already moved on..... This time I must learn to love myself first.....
You give my life a brand new start...
11:42:00 AM